he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
