just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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