thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
