I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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