i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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