Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i drank out of a bidet.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
