I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I wear drunk well.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
