Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
