what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
