I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
