i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
