I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
