He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
