vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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