Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
