it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
