as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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