I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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