Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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