when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
