the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
