what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
