After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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