remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
