you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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