i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
