Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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