look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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