Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
