I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
