it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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