I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
