brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
