There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
COCAINE IS GR8
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
