I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
