They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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