i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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