im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
