Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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