Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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