id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
