she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
