dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
