If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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