Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
