The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
