just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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