When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
