I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
