She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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