Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
