She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
