32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
we're so committed to being not committed
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
