It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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